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Writer's pictureYours Truly

In Memoriam

Updated: Apr 21, 2019



~


⚠Trigger Warning; the following poem contains subject matter pertaining to self-harm ⚠


~

In memory of

him?

her?


I do not know.


~

In the hushed moments

before sleep,

you summon the

loveliest memories of him--

memories now

resigned to heartache and destitution,

to some far off, phantasmic realm.

(wherever that may be);


you come to school ill

one winter's morning,

flesh cadaverous,

pale cheeks embellished

by bloodshot eyes

wreathed in dark circles.


He rests his hand atop

your forehead affectionately,

his eyes shaded with concern

as he comes to the realization that

"You're burning up."







(But, eventually, his affections

begin to ebb away,

and with them, so does your fire--

the very stuff of magic);


Mouth frothing with rage,

you haul off and

punch the living shit

out of a bathroom stall.

This escapade of fury

leaves your left hand

inflamed

bruised

splintered.


When you tell him

what you've done,

he meets you outside

of the girl's washroom

and takes your hand in his,

runs his fingers over the

inflammation

bruises

splinters

softly and asks you,

"Does it hurt?"




(These days, it hurts everywhere--

and all for him, darling);


He pulls you--

fretful and teary-eyed--

to his chest,

his palm cradling

the back of your neck.


For a moment

you forget about

the cuts on your thighs;

the blood seeping

from your nylons;

the sorrow gnawing

at your bones.

For a moment,

you can't help but wonder

if this boy

is to be your

Gideon--

your Holy Grail.



(And, to think,

one abrupt gesticulation

of his wrist

is all it would take--

and my neck snaps).

 

Image Source:

Daisies wilting gif. (n.d.). [image] Available at: https://gfycat.com/gifs/search/rose%2Bs [Accessed 2 Oct. 2018].

 
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