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Writer's pictureYours Truly

II. This is the Definition of Beauty (This is the Definition of Pain)

Updated: Aug 6, 2020

volume ii.


putting on my face

~

~

Step 1: Floss


Cover Girls don't wear breakfast

between their molars.


Step 2: Brush Teeth


Until the vibration patterns

of the toothbrush begin changes

in pulse,

signally that two minutes

have passed--

the minimum

for how long you must brush

so as to ensure optimal dental hygiene.


Next is charcoal.


I imagine it tastes

the way flames must--

bitter and black

like charred fire logs.


How I burn

for a chance to be lovely,

teeth a scintillating white,

like a string of pearls worn about

a flapper girl's collar bone.


Step 3: Moisturizer


The tube wheezes

as I attempt to excavate the

remaining morsels of lotion

from its limp body.

I knead what is leftover

into the dry fissures of my skin.


Step 4: Primer


I await the masterpiece


(it never arrives).


Step 5: Eyeshadow


I am not in the sixth grade anymore.


I've finally mastered the art

of colouring inside the lines

by utilizing the precise end

of an angled makeup brush.


Having graduated from

the primary colour wheel,

I only play with Metallics now.


I want to be The Golden Girl.


But with the passing of a few hours,

the gold with have melted away

to reveal sad, waterfall eyes.


Step 6: Green Concealer


Rosy cheeks

flower in splotches

of unflattering pink.


I force them into wilting.


Autumn has arrived early this year.


Step 7: Foundation


These crimson precipices

take cover beneath freshly painted skin.


If I do not wash my artist's brush

before the next use,

they will sprout anew atop my forehead

come the next morning.


Step 8: Blush


The artifical rouge of my cheeks

is preferable to their natural pigment.


Step 9: Highlighter


I still don't know

how to contour;

how to Houdini my nose

into smallness

to conceal its beak-like slant.


(when will ugly duckling

transform into Swan?)


So maybe if I cake it

in rose gold highlighter

it will be big and arched--

but big and arched and

magnificent

like the steep decline

of Mount Olympus.


I pray to Aphrodite

for a nose as brilliant

as hers must be.


Step 10: Eyeliner


Black, magpie wings

spread towards my temples.


But never on the first attempt.


I apply.


Too thick.


I remove.



I apply.


Angle's too sharp.


I remove.



I apply.


smudge.


I remove



I apply--


then on to the next broken wing.


After all,

magpies have always

had an unfortunate habit

of swooping far too low

towards the pavement,

straight into the vortex

of oncoming traffic.


Step 11: Mascara


When I rub it off

after work each day,

it makes the bags

under my eyes look heavier.


There is a fine line between beauty and exhaustion.


Sometimes,

I can hardly tell the difference


Step 11: Eyebrows


It doesn't matter

how much of myself

I fill in--


I am always empty.

 

Image Source:

Melanie Martinez plastic surgery Mrs. Potato Head gif (n.d.). [image] Available at: https://weheartit.com/entry/268580824 [Accessed 11 Sep. 2019].

 
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