~
For the longest time,
I would wonder
why,
on the mere cusp of 17,
I began to drink.
I'd always assumed it
was because I was so
sad.
But now,
while I'm sure that
sadness was most certainly
a contributing force,
I don't think
it was the true perpetrator.
See,
all the other girls
in my grade were always off
fucking or getting high
or embarking on whatever
risque adventures
they'd broadcast on Snapchat
the next morning.
I think all I ever wanted
was a scandal to call my own.
I wanted to prove
something to myself--
that,
no matter what
people said about me,
I could be bad too.
~
This one time,
I bought a squirt gun
from the dollar store.
I wanted to get drunk
the way I'd watched
Cassie from Skins
get drunk
in this one episode.
So,
I filled up my gun
with vodka
before holstering it
against my tongue.
Then,
I pulled the trigger.
Image Source:
Lana Del Rey Drinking gif (n.d.). [image] Available athttps://imgur.com/gallery/0F92P/comment/13064814 [Accessed 26 Apr. 2019].
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